Link to sermon: Christian Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7) (Note: my wife, Heidi co-taught this lesson and you may have to turn up the volume to hear her)
Main Point: Dying to self is the key to submission and understanding
Take a look at the following 3 pictures and decide which one represents your marriage or which one you want to represent your marriage.
Coal? Cubic Zirconia? or Diamond?
Heidi and I have had couples from time to time look at our marriage and say "I want the marriage you have." Put that on the shelf for a minute and ask yourself "What does a diamond start out as?" Coal. What does it take to make one? Pressure. Heidi and I have a great marriage, but you wouldn't want to go through what we have to produce the marriage that we have. Let you trials be enough. When pressure comes into your marriage what are you allowing God to produce? A diamond or two piles of coal dust?
Does a diamond come out of the ground ready to be set in a ring? No it has to be cut. (Note: This diamond illustration is a retweek of Eric Thomas' Shine Like a Diamond talk, he doesn't apply it to marriage). Everybody wants a great marriage, but most aren't willing to allow God to use the pressure/trails to produce the diamond. Most aren't willing to die to self, so that the two can be come one. Again, that take dying to self, living to Christ, so that you can both submit and live in an understanding way.
What you hear the word submit do you think negatively? What does submission equal? It doesn't equal slavery. Peter is saying in the midst of your freedom submit. Think of Jesus. He submitted to the Father's plan to serve you. People tend to get a little sideways when they hear the word submit, because they have a negative connotation of the word. But it can be viewed in a positive light. Heidi doesn't have a problem with submission, because in the end all the responsibility rests on my shoulders. Let me translate that for you...she doesn't have a problem with submission, because it is my head that is on the chopping block...But I would add she also doesn't have a problem with submission because I live with her in an understanding way, take her advise and needs into consideration when making decisions. If the two have died to self and become one submission is easy.
When you hear the term weaker vessel what do you think of? Is this burly man and wimpy girl? Or is it more the difference between these two pictures?
Both hold water, but one is a little harder, firmer and stronger and one is more delicate, fancy and beautiful. Men and women are equal, but different. Peter isn't trying to belittle women, but rather point out there differences and challenge men that they are to cherish and delight in their wives rather than kick them around...
Here we transitioned to the Todd and Heidi story. Two principles that have always been at the center of our marriage that have helped us live out these passages is communication and unity. Take a listen...
We concluded with a challenge to explore your marriages asking how you are supporting one another in the following areas:
- Spiritual
- Emotional
- Physical
- Mental
Are you and your spouse one? Are you dying to self, so that you can live in submission and unity?
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